Night Jokes

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Why did the sauce need a night light?

Because he was alfredo the dark!

What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

What did one tonsil say to the other?

Get dressed a doctor is taking us out to night.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

What does a dyslectic, agnostic, insomniac think about at night?

Is there really a dog. Dog lover joke.

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been?!

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night?

Piratechnics!

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

He stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

Why did the Dark Ages existed?

Because there were 'nights.

What do you get when you're agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

You stay up all night wondering if there's a dog.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Some guy sitting up all night wondering if there really is a dog

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle?

In case of any night mares!

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog

What does one strawberry say to the other?

Well, if you hadn't been so fresh last night, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam!

What does FUN stand for?

Some nights, I don't know.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac?

A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What did the egg say to the boiler water?

It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid last night.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What do golfers do on nights out?

Par**ty.

What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?

She went out with the tide.

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

When does a bed grow longer?

At night, because two feet are added to it.

What did the polygamist horse get on his wedding night?

A double bridle

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

When do the leaves begin to turn?

The night before a test.

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?

Snacks that go crunch in the night.

What did one flea say to the other after a night out?

Shall we walk home or take a dog

What's Batman's least favourite album?

A Night at the Opera.

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

Russell!

What happens at night in Bangladesh?

It gets Dhaka

Who was the best player on the Seahawks last night?

The Broncos' center

How do these presidential candidates sleep at night?

With an electorate blanket.

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night?

Your grandma's Jaws

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?

Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Where does Max Planck go for a night out?

To the h-bar

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

What did one strawberry say to the other?

If you weren't so fresh last night we wouldn't be in this jam.

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

Why do raindrops like lightning at night?

So they can see where they are going

What do you call a hotel special that lets policemen stay for two nights for the price of one?

CuNO3!

Where do Dutch sheep go at night?

TO SHLEEP!

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

Why was the phone busy all night?

Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.

What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?

Fry-by-night!

What do SQL programmers do at night?

Count star.

Why do you look out the window in the morning?

Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off

How can a man go eight days without sleep?

No problem, He sleeps at night.

What has more lives than a cat?

A frog -- it croaks every night.

How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

Sleep at night

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?

Numchucks.

What does an agnostic... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

How can a man go 7 days without sleeping?

Sleep at night

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

You might also enjoy:

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

How's a fart and a teenager alike?

Because once you go to sleep, you can't trust either of them to not sneak out.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Why don't lobsters share their dinner?

Because they're shellfish!!!

What does a black and white bear use to cook its dinner?

A pan, duh!

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

What was Camelot?

A place where people parked their camels!

What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?

He gets Toad

Tractor Jokes More Tractor Jokes

What does the farmer, looking for his tractor, say?

Where is my tractor?

How did the farmer find his daughter?

He Tractor.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does Jay Z love Christmas?

Because he's the best wrapper alive.

How do we know burgers love young people?

They're pro-teen!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What if you go missing?

How do you expect us to find you if you look like Beyonce on Facebook.

How do you find Calvin Broadus Jr's darkest secrets?

You Snoop, Dogg.

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What did one termite say to another in a burning building?

Barbecue tonight!

What did one tooth say to the other?

Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

Night Jokes

Why do pro gamers get up at 1:37pm?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon?

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, insomniac and a dyslexic?

What do you get when you mix a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?

Why is Christopher Walken so tired?

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What does Stalin do on a night out?

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

What's the best thing about having insomnia?

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

What does a Knight do at night?

What do you call a horse at night?

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?