What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

Why is K-9 another term for a dog?

Because if it was a cat, it would be a K-10.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

How does Optimus Prime stay young looking?

Autobotulism

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?

How does the Addidas executive work through the night?

Three lines

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

Whats best joke aboot Canada?

I'm Canadian and i was just wondering

Ever wondered why bees hum?

It's because they don't know the words.