What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?

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How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed?!?!?

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

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Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

Because he was in-a-cent!

Which American President was least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.