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Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary?

Because he wanted to get more definition.

Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?

So he could look like his mama.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do Mexican peanuts tell time?

Cacawatches

How can you tell when a bar is haunted?

It's full of Boo's and Spirits.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

What are the first 3 words in every authentic Mexican recipe?

Steal a chicken

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

What do you call cute seeds?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?