Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Previous Random Joke Next
Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

How can you tell that a black person used your computer?

It's gone.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

What are jokes about janitors called?

Sweeping generalizations.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black man?

Someone who steals your job then doesn't show up.

Where does the pervert keep the underwear he steals?

In his briefcase!

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

What's an Xbox fanboys' least favourite film?

P.S. I Love You

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one