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Pun Jokes

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Why aren't puns called pows?

It is a play on words, after all

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?

Puns

What do you call a funny baked good?

A pun

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

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What's pun plus pun?

Poo

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Which one of the ten men won the pun contest?

No pun in ten did!

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

What do you call a pun in a marathon?

A running joke

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

How can U make a difference?

Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

Love

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Love

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

What do you get if you are telling puns while jogging?

A running joke.

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

What do you call a mountain of puns?

Mount Cleverest

What's that difference between a pun and a dad joke?

Dad jokes are punnier.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.

What are people afraid of puns called?

Homophonic I'm sorry...

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

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Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

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What do cannibals like to drink in the morning?

A cup of Joe.

Why do anarchists only drink herbal infusions?

Because proper tea is theft.

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Which two regions have the most people named John?

SEA / NA

What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm?

One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs.

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What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

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What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Why do inquisitive peppers annoy people?

Because they get jalapeo business.

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What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What do sea monsters have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

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What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

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Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

What do you call a show about puns?

A play on words.