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Pun Jokes

Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

Love

Love

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Why aren't puns called pows?

It is a play on words, after all

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?

Puns

What do you call a funny baked good?

A pun

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

What is the main ingredient of a fractal fondue?

Mandel broth Ha ha ha The puns I make up while working as a grocery cashier..

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's pun plus pun?

Poo

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Which one of the ten men won the pun contest?

No pun in ten did!

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ EDIT: This blew up. (No pun intended)

What do you call a pun in a marathon?

A running joke

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

How can U make a difference?

Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

What do you get if you are telling puns while jogging?

A running joke.

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

What do you call a mountain of puns?

Mount Cleverest

What's that difference between a pun and a dad joke?

Dad jokes are punnier.

Where do you put a hot dog?

On a pun.

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.

What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.

What are people afraid of puns called?

Homophonic I'm sorry...

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

Why did the dad make the joke?

For the pun of it.

You might also enjoy:

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Why do fluorescent lights hum?

Because they don't know the words.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's black and white... What's black and white and loves kids?

Michael Jackson

What's 6" long and women love it?

100$ bill.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the mathematician call his dog Cauchy?

Because he left a residue at every pole.

How do crabs leave the hospital?

On crotches...

Relate Jokes More Relate Jokes

What's the difference between redneck newlyweds and two variables in a dataset?

The variables aren't necessarily related.

How are bears related to cooking?

The pan... duh

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear?

It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

Because all day they deal with ores.

Whats the deal with all this airline food?

Sharks in Malaysia

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield?

You can actually get through the minefield alive.

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Where did you get that thing?

Parrot says, "Africa."

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)