Reddit Jokes

What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?

Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.

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Why do I not laugh at your jokes anymore?

Because I've "reddit" before

What does Reddit share in common with the real world?

A messed up system of karma

What did the Ceasar of reddit say?

I came, I upvoted, I reposted.

What do you call a joke that gets posted over and over again on reddit?

Al-redi-reddi-tt.

Why are Reddit jokes so overused?

I don't know, ask Dave.

What happens when i find a good joke?

I reddit.

What do you call an angry Reddit mod?

Deleted

What do you call an original idea on Reddit?

A repost.

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

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What do you award to someone who comments in a thread from a month ago?

Reddit Old

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

What's the best way to receive down votes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny!

Why does Reddit have so many reposts?

Because you already read-it.

What did one frog say to the other?

Why is Reddit full of liberals?

All the conservatives are out working.

What's the difference between a joke on Reddit and a joke on 9Gag?

About a day.

What's the difference between Reddit and Facebook?

About a day

Where do bots go for fun?

Reddit.

How long does it take for George R.R. Martin to finish a Reddit post?

Answer coming Fall 2017.

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Why was the Facebook post redundant?

Because I already reddit

What happens if you violate Reddit's content policy?

Removed

What happens when you violate Reddit's rules?

Removed

What does Reddit and Dating have in common?

It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.

How do you make the Reddit front page?

Repost)

Where do post go when they die in Reddit?

Everywhere else.

Who leaked all of Reddit's most sensitive secrets?

Edward Snooden.

Why is Reddit called "Reddit"?

The first name they came up with reminded them too much of olive oil.

What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people?

Dead people had lives.

Why Is Reddit Called Reddit?

Because you already read it.

How do you know if Buzzfeed article is stolen?

You get the feeling that you've Reddit before.

How much do I trust reddit?

I went on before seeing the new Star Wars.

What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit?

At Olive Garden the servers actually work.

What's the difference between reddit and a fish?

Fish are cool

What do you call a popular joke on reddit?

Repost

What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?

Where does a North Korean go after he upvotes a thread on Reddit?

To the morgue.

Whats reddits favorite tv show?

The OC.

What's the difference between Reddit and Voat?

Reddit doesn't constantly have reposts from the other site.

What religious group does reddit belong in?

Cat holics

What sound will reddit make when it blows up?

Nothing, it's just a website.

What has shadier inner workings, Reddit or FIFA?

Still waiting to hear back from an admin.

Whats the difference between reddit and hell?

Hell bad people

What the difference between Reddit and other sites?

On some of them you actually have a voat

What do you call ice cream that robs a bank?

Heist cream Got to give credit to my friend, who sadly dosent have reddit.

What did Elsa say to her fans on Reddit?

Leddit go

How is Reddit like fencing?

Ripostes everywhere.

What's with all of these racist jokes on reddit?

They're starting to get quite dark

Why did Reddit's restaurant go our of business?

All of its servers were busy

How did Reddit not fell down yet?

I mean, it is only hanging by threads...

Which is Reddit's favourite element?

M'lybdenum.

What is Reddits favorite country?

Chi-LE!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend came up with that one hope u guys love it as much as I do!!!!!

Whats a frogs favourite website??

What do you call a scary unexpected post in reddit?

A Dreddit!

What do you get when you cross a garden, a rabbit, and some ExLax?

For the love of everything sacred on reddit please do not make me actually key the answer....okay, let's say it together, "Salad Shooter".

How would a pirate describe navigating Reddit on Talk like a Pirate Day?

Arduous.

What is the biggest joke?

Reddit.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What's older than sand?

The reposts on reddit.

What does Reddit need?

Ahmad.

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What you you call a girl you meet on Reddit?

You don't.

How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are posts on the frontpage

Why was 11 afraid of 12?

Because 12 13 14!

What do Lewinsky, Monroe, and Reddit have in common?

They all went down on a President.

Why does Reddit hate Fencing?

Ripostes

What do you call it when you think deeply about something you just saw on reddit?

Redditation. I am so sorry... that was horrible.

What would the Reddit political party be called?

The know-kn0thing party.

What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home?

Get in the Karma.

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)

What do the janitors clean the Reddit office with?

Derpentine.

What do you call someone who gets Praise and Merit on Reddit?

Creddit!!!!

How do you get to the front page of reddit?

Lack of originality

What do you call a clever joke that doesn't make it to the front page?

A clever joke, but nobody will have Reddit...

What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag?

About 5 seconds.

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

R/explainlikeimfive

What do you call a good joke on Reddit?

Unoriginal

What is purple, blue, and white and spits out dad jokes?

What do you call all of the terrible jokes on reddit arranged in a circle?

Groanhenge

Why does repost always get to the top?

Most people reddit before

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

What's white, blue, and red all over?

REDdit.

Why did Snoo not check out a library book?

Because he had already Reddit.

What's the difference between a 2016 Reddit post and a 2006 Reddit post?

Removed

What if reddit had a currency?

Would they be called creddits ()

What's the most overused punchline on reddit?

Removed

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

How to ruin a joke on Reddit?

Misspell the paunch line.

Why don't SJWs like Reddit?

It's a real cispool.

Why is Reddit different from Facebook?

Removed

What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

What do you call an origional joke on Reddit?

Mine

How do you get Reddit to improve their search function?

Have CNN report on how bad it is

Why won't you read this joke?

Cause you've already reddit!

What's all this talk about Reddit's servers being down?

Guess I can't see what everyone else sees.

Whats the difference between reddit and 9gag?

3 hours, but it takes 1 day for it to get to Hot

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

How many people does it take to tell a joke on reddit?

Two. One to post the joke and one to post a better punchline in the comments.

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What's the most terrifying gift your SO/Family can buy for you?

Reddit gold.

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

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What is the penalty for telling a bad joke?

The joke is its own pun-ishment.

What do my jokes have in common with toilet paper?

They're both tearable.

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What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

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How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her mom rearranged the living room

What do your mom and monkeys have in common?

Macaque

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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?

Best vicious of the season

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What the difference between Reddit and other sites?

On some of them you actually have a voat

What is the difference between Digg and Reddit?

People can Voat.

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What's the difference between a cow and September 11?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

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What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

Tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.