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Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Birthday State of Mind
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What do you call someone who would do *anything* for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'Merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What's the difference between a fraternity and a gang?

Gangs don't have to pay for friends.

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

Why can't you trust a snowman?

Because they're all a bunch of flakes

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How did Maxwell greet Ampere?

Good Faraday to you, sir!

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Ho Ho Ho Jokes More Ho Ho Ho Jokes

What goes HO HO HO thud?

Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO A Pimp taking inventory.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Terrible Joke Jokes More Terrible Joke Jokes

What do Greek teenagers say?

Omega!! Note: surely it already exists but I thought of it independently and am proud of my terrible joke!

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out tide.

Why are you picking up rocks?

M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What cows give each other when they meet?

A milkshake.

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Whats the difference between a genie and a genius?

A genie grants wishes, while a genius wishes for grants.

Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder?

He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world.