Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'Merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

A Merry Christmas to ewe

What's a sheep's favourite band?

Ewe 2

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?

A charmer farmer!

What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?

A tail pail!

Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What's the most popular sports channel in Mexico?

ESPOL

Why did the Dalai Lama go to Mexico?

So he can be juan with everything.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Because HE is the one who knocks.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is the cow's holiday greeting?

Mooooory Christmas!

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

What does a gang say on December 25th?

Merry Crips-mas

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975?

Cause Charlie don't serf.

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one