Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'Merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry Merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

You might also enjoy:

Con Jokes More Con Jokes

What's the best thing about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here.

What's a good thing about a novelist conman?

He may have a lot of cons, but he also has a lot of prose.

31 Jokes More 31 Jokes

Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Terrible Joke Jokes More Terrible Joke Jokes

What should a redditor receive after a terrible joke?

Karma. (Please forgive me)

What do Greek teenagers say?

Omega!! Note: surely it already exists but I thought of it independently and am proud of my terrible joke!

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

Tenish.

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

What does a gang say on December 25th?

Merry Crips-mas

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other?

Same time next month?

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?

A full bull!

What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?

A woolly bully!