Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?

A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

What's the difference between a gang of pygmy's and a women's track team?

One is a Cunning group of Runts.....

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What kind of beer does a cow brew?

Heifer-weizen.

What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow?

You stop milking the cow after ten years.

31 Jokes More 31 Jokes

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween confused?

Because: 25 DEC == 31 OCT Merry Christmas Fellow Nerds!

Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

What happened after the word bank was robbed?

There was a run on sentences.

Why did the man with a stammer never get out of jail?

He couldn't finish his sentence.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas?

Because his bread was stollen!!!

What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause?

He knows where all the naughty girls live #*()*

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What do planets do to follow each other on SpaceTube?

Sunscribe.

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

Where do Koalas love to go for a holiday?

Koala Lumpur.

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough