How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

What is the most beautiful thing in the world?

Is it your right thigh, or your left? Or does the answer lie somewhere in the middle?

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

How can you tell a redneck has got money?

He gems out his dip cup

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

New Jersey picked first.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

What did the koala bear say to the barber?

You ca-lip this