How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?

The car salesman knows he is lying.

Who's there! Attila! Attila who?

Attila you no lies!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell an ant is a boy or girl?

Throw it in water If it sinks = girl ant If it floats = buoyant

Why'd you shave it off?

Me: I just told you...

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why can't you hear a dog whistle?

Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way.

What goes oo ooo oooo?

A cow with no lips.