Myth-conception
A lion. Get it guys lol? Lion Lying I'll pounce myself out now...
It was two tired.
Someone who lies awake at night if there really is a dog.
A nervous wreck.
Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog
A lie
A dead centipede.
The lips are moving
Their lips are moving.
When their lips move
Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.
Because they lay out in the sun so much
Their mouth is moving.
Untrustable
A turtle. I was lying about the wheels
They lie still.
Shakira. Her hips don't lie.
She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"
A jelly baby.
Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"
Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.
His mouth is moving.
Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in English. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.
Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)
To keep each udder dry.
His lips are moving.
ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.
Annette!
It wasn't born yesterday.
Because eggs were going up!
She asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.
Russel.
Attila you no lies!
Someone is lying.
First he lies on one side, then the other!!
Other lawyers look interested.
Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.
You use a spirit level.
Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.
Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.
The car salesman knows he is lying.
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"
She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"
A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
Because he is lying.
A girl scout that got hit by a car.
She wanted to get a dark tan.
So they aren't lying when they say they like Java.
A centipede
Car-pets!
One good turn deserves another.
Al lied!
Because her hips won't lie.
He asked. "A million," I rep lied.
I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!
A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!
A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.
To trip up low-flying aircraft.
His lips are moving
Gomer's pile.
He made a grave mistake.
ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"
Because he had a Halloweenie! (Hollow-weenie)
Tequila Mockingbird.
He wanted to work undercover.
Ruff!
Because there is no driver up there.
Matt. No arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob.
Bob.
A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
Wet.
You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the jar of glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there
It raises a stink!
Because she was an operetta (operator).
