Which side is it best to lie on?

She asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How do you know when a politician is lying?

Their mouth is moving.

What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?

The car salesman knows he is lying.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

How do ducks pay off loans?

With their bills!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

What does the doctor say after colonoscopy?

See ewwww later!

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What did the CPU say to the RAM?

Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, "life" is too short.

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

Fee Jokes More Fee Jokes

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

No fee--If No Recovery!

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "