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Which side is it best to lie on?

She asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call lying furniture?

Untrustable

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

Why Do Kids In High school Take Art?

You don't have to pay for the glue to sniff...

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?

Because it is below C level.

How do you ask for a cigarette in Spain?

Tapas a snout!

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How will I ever find the right woman?

She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Fee Jokes More Fee Jokes

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

No fee--If No Recovery!