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How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What did pinnochio's girlfriend say when they were 69'ing?

Lie to me

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

What do walruses and tupperware have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a gamer from a rugby player?

Ask them if they play league.

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What does a lawyer say to another lawyer?

We are both a lawyer.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.