How can you tell which end of a worm is which?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

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Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

How can you tell if you're on a Starcraft diet?

Not enough minerals.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess?

He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves.

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad.

Tickle Jokes More Tickle Jokes

Whats the last thing you give a tickle me Elmo before it leaves the factory?

Two test-tickles.

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

Ten-tickles!

Worm Jokes More Worm Jokes

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Biting into an apple and finding half a worm!

What common trait do viruses, trojan horses and worms have in common?

They are all INSECURE.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker?

In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.