What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.

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What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream?

Sure, Bert!

How do you know if someone's a vegan?

When you ask them "Are you a vegan?" and they say "Yes".

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What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

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Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.