What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.

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What's wrong with them?

His boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

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What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

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What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.