Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

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What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

What did the Hispanic fireman name his two twin sons?

Jose and Hose B

What kind of chemical bond is Hispanic?

An Ester Bond

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

Piracy Jokes More Piracy Jokes

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What's the difference between PirateBay and 9/11?

One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy

M'laysia Jokes More M'laysia Jokes

What is a neck beard's favorite country?

M'Laysia

What's a neckbeard's favorite Asian country?

M'Laysia

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me".

City Jokes More City Jokes

Where do mathematicians go to gamble?

Sine city

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!