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Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start off with a large fortune!

How do you start making big bucks?

With a little doe

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit?

He chicken tendered his resignation.

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

What do Augusto Pinochet and New Guns n Roses have in common?

They've both committed atrocities in South American stadiums.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why do Asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

What is the weakest armour made out of?

Asian People

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

How does a viola greet a relative?

Cello!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where would you find the scientist who loved to f$k dogs?

In the lab.

How do you find out what gender a stray cat is?

Carefully

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the suicidal man cross the road?

Because he wanted to play chicken.

Why did the cactus cross the road?

It got stuck to the chicken.