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What kind of cats lay around the house?

Car-pets!

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster?

HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?

A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do you make a cat go "meow"?

Take it out of the freezer and run it through a bandsaw.

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because of the tree bark.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get a blonde on the roof?

Say the drinks are on the house

How do you know your house had chicken pox?

It has shingles.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of vitamin does a pirate take?

Vitamin sea.

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble