Kind Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

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What kind of car does a rich baker drive?

A Rolls-Royce.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock

What kind of cologne applies itself?

Elon Musk

What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers.

What kind of beer was Dr. Stephen Strange serving?

It was his own Strange Brew. You would be Moranic not to like it.

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

What kind of car does a cat drive?

A Cadillac.

What kind of tree is a must?

An obliga-tree.

What kind of street to ghosts, goblins and ghouls live on?

A Dead End.

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

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What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?

Decom-pose.

What kind of plants grow in bathrooms?

Toilet trees.

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

Culosis.

What kind of math can you do with light?

Refractions

What kind of Ant lives in rented accommodation?

Tenants.

What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?

A sturgeon.

What kind of music do wind turbines listen to?

They're huge metal fans.

What kind of music venues do gun lovers like the most?

Carry OK

What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?

Shoepremacy.

What kind of ideas do blind people get?

Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind.

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What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?

A mushroom.

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

What kind of cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

What kind of tree has the best bark?

A dogwood

What kind of database does a Pokdex use?

PokMongoDB

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What kind of tea do koalas drink?

Euca-lipton

What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

FINNISH HYMN!

What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

Cottage cheese.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

What kind of dog should you get a Spanish speaker?

A spaniel.

What kind of tree likes a high five?

A palm tree

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

What kind of bat hangs upside-down?

An acrobat.

What kind of wolf never runs?

Steppenwolf

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

What kind of fun do priests have?

Nun

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage?

A degree in law.

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

What kind of computer can also sing?

A Dell.

What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights?

Hypertrophy!

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

What kind of cheese would you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone

What kind of food can you color with?

A cranberry!

What kind of overalls does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What kind of music does a pirate like?

Arrr'n'B

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers(iknow its old but its nice)

What kind of music do balloons hate the most?

Pop music.

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

What kind of shoes do bears wear?

None because they go barefoot.

What kind of dog does Sauron have?

A La-Barad-dr

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

What kind of computer can't sing?

A Dell

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium molecules?

2 na

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality.

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water

What kind of cuisine did the rude Jamaican serve?

Caribbean Jerk. Ayyyyy!

What kind of person are you if you open the door from the bottom of the door?

A low-key person

What kind of jeans do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim!

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

What kind of dog is the quietest?

A "shhh"nauzer

What kind of fruit can't get married?

A Cantleope

What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with?

A TACK

What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to?

Klondike Bars

What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

Oink

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What kind of TV show do felines watch?

Catoons

What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children?

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS!...Polly want a cracker.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

What kind of fish is the worst friend?

The Sel-Fish

What kind of investments do musicians make?

Sound investments.

What kind of parents are see-through?

Transparence!

What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor?

One with everything

What kind of house does Fonzie live in?

An "A" frame...

What kind of car does a ghost drive?

A boogati!

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin

What kind of money do they use on Superman's home planet?

Kryptocurrency

What kind of animal goes "LMAO"?

Hy-Ayy-nas

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

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Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?

The girl necks door.

Vitamin D Jokes More Vitamin D Jokes

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any kind, buildings can't jump.

Sushi Restaurant Jokes More Sushi Restaurant Jokes

What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant?

I am saury.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

Mouse Jokes More Mouse Jokes

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak!

What do you call a mouse with no balls?

Optical.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident?

It could be your car

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who plays the viola?

A violator.

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?

Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!