Kind Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

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What kind of car does a rich baker drive?

A Rolls-Royce.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock

What kind of cologne applies itself?

Elon Musk

What kind of shoes do thieves wear?

Sneakers.

What kind of beer was Dr. Stephen Strange serving?

It was his own Strange Brew. You would be Moranic not to like it.

What kind of dog doesnt bark?

A hot dog

What kind of car does a cat drive?

A Cadillac.

What kind of tree is a must?

An obliga-tree.

What kind of street to ghosts, goblins and ghouls live on?

A Dead End.

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

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What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?

Decom-pose.

What kind of plants grow in bathrooms?

Toilet trees.

What kind of TB do potatoes get?

Culosis.

What kind of math can you do with light?

Refractions

What kind of Ant lives in rented accommodation?

Tenants.

What kind of girls date firefighters?

Hose.

What kind of fish can you find in a hospital?

A sturgeon.

What kind of music do wind turbines listen to?

They're huge metal fans.

What kind of music venues do gun lovers like the most?

Carry OK

What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?

Shoepremacy.

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What kind of shrimp does Chris Brown like?

Battered shrimp.

What kind of ideas do blind people get?

Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.

What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside?

A mushroom.

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

What kind of cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

What kind of tree has the best bark?

A dogwood

What kind of database does a Pokdex use?

PokMongoDB

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

What kind of dog suffers most from being inbred?

A hot dog

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

What kind of tea do koalas drink?

Euca-lipton

What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

FINNISH HYMN!

What kind of cheese can be used to build a structure?

Cottage cheese.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

What kind of dog should you get a Spanish speaker?

A spaniel.

What kind of tree likes a high five?

A palm tree

What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

What kind of bat hangs upside-down?

An acrobat.

What kind of wolf never runs?

Steppenwolf

What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

What kind of fun do priests have?

Nun

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

What kind of cheese gives out money?

Prova I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (:

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

What kind of degree do you inherit through marriage?

A degree in law.

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

What kind of vision does Fetty Wap have?

17/38

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

What kind of computer can also sing?

A Dell.

What kind of operating system do horses use?

None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter.

What kind of eel is this?

Diner at the sushi restaurant: "What kind of eel is this?" Waiter: "Do you love it?" Diner: "yeah" Waiter: "Then, that's a moray"

What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights?

Hypertrophy!

What kind of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

What kind of Aircraft is into Men and Women?

A Biplane.

What kind of cheese would you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone

What kind of food can you color with?

A cranberry!

What kind of overalls does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What kind of music does a pirate like?

Arrr'n'B

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers(iknow its old but its nice)

What kind of music do balloons hate the most?

Pop music.

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

What kind of shoes do bears wear?

None because they go barefoot.

What kind of dog does Sauron have?

A La-Barad-dr

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

What kind of computer can't sing?

A Dell

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium molecules?

2 na

What kind of drink does a ghetto drinks?

A GHETTOrade

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality.

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water

What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most?

French press

What kind of cuisine did the rude Jamaican serve?

Caribbean Jerk. Ayyyyy!

What kind of haircut does the black judge have?

Jury Curls

What kind of person are you if you open the door from the bottom of the door?

A low-key person

What kind of jeans do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim!

What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

Denim denim denim

What kind of dog is the quietest?

A "shhh"nauzer

What kind of fruit can't get married?

A Cantleope

What kind of stationary can't you defend yourself with?

A TACK

What kind of dog do IT people prefer?

A Dobie

What kind of trails does a crazy person travel?

Psychopaths. (I hate myself)

What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to?

Klondike Bars

What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

Oink

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What kind of TV show do felines watch?

Catoons

What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children?

What kind of pickles does Miley Cyrus like in her relish?

Twerkins

What kind of car does depressed Daniel drive?

Sad Dan

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger?

It's meteor.

Why are criminals so good at basketball?

They shoot first and ask questions later.

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

Why did the console cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do moths fly with their legs spread?

Have you ever seen the size of mothballs?

What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drones...

Different Kind Jokes More Different Kind Jokes

Why does Germany have so many different kinds of bread?

Well, we had to do something with the ovens.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why is Jesus so bad at hockey?

Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!

What's brownish and runs on oil?

Jesus in a hurry.

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

I can't make a vitamin

Which vitamin best helps a Pokémon breed?

PP Up.

Tom Jokes More Tom Jokes

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.