Kind Jokes

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What kind of guns do bees use?

BeeBee guns

What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock?

A Nokia

What kind of flour is independent?

Self-Raising flour.. I'll get my coat.

What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison??

Chili CON Carne!

What kind of bird flies around bays?

Bagles

What kind of potato chips do dogs like best?

RUFFles

What kind of dog can turn on your car?

Yorkies

What kind of car does god drive?

A Christler

Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers?

Metro gnomes

What kind of vitamin does a pirate take?

Vitamin sea.

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What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What kind of Fuel does the Iron Giant run on?

Vin Diesel!

What kind of pie can fly?

A Magpie.

What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.

What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge?

Hard Rock.

What kind of mane does a Chinese lion have?

Lo mein.

What kind of dog can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador

What kind of organisation is Atheism?

A non-prophet organisation.

What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

Smoked Muenster.

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

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What kind of container is appropriate for noble gases?

An innertube.

What kind of cake does a baseball player prefer?

A bundt cake!

What kind of car does a pirate drive?

A Yarrrrrrrrris.

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood!

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

What do you call a tree if you don't know what kind of tree it is?

It's a mystery.

What kind of boy is he?

A noughty one.

What kind of dog did the sad cantaloupe get?

A melon collie!

What kind of food do zombies hate?

Fast food

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What kind of room has no walls?

A mushroom!

What kind of pants do Bostonians wear?

Car Keys

What kind of water do you drink when the snow melts?

Spring water.

What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets?

Hush puppies

What kind of pizza did the Dalai Lama order?

One with everything

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What kind of melons always have big weddings?

Cantaloupe.

What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

What kind of bird does 2 Chainz own?

Toucan

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea

What kind of Dog does Homer Simpson have?

A DOH-berman!

What kind of environment do hobbits live in?

A hobbitat

What kind of a friar loves philosophy?

A deep friar.

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any kind, buildings can't jump.

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What kind of music does a factory worker listen to?

Industrial Metal

What kind of lotion does a bullfighter use?

Oil of Ole'

What kind of music do rabbits listen to?

HIP HOP

What kind of bird works on a construction site?

A Crane.

What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

Ruth-less.

What kind of peanuts get warts?

Planters.

What kind of nuts go on your feet?

Cashews.

What kind of a shoe has a problem?

An issue.

What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like?

Little seizures.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

What kind of fish is funny, beautiful and a good role model for young women?

Tuna Fey.

What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride?

A Cruci-fixie.

What kind of bear likes the rain?

A drizzley bear.

What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim.

What is a math teacher's favorite kind of toilet paper?

The kind that has multi ply's.

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

A salad-manager

What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.

What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?

An algae bra.

What kind of computer sings?

A Dell

What kind of underwear do the GI Joes wear?

None, they go commando.

What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers wear?

Denim denim denim.

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear.

What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

What kind of line gets thicker and thinner at the same time?

A line of marathon runners

What kind of dance does your mother do?

The MOMbo.

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you.

What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer?

Mainly SMALL ARMS.

What kind of tea does a house drink?

Propertea

What kind of skin lotion do acrobats use?

Cirque d'Olay

What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby?

Bettas

What kind of fabric does Mario use?

Denim denim denim.

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

What kind of bird always sticks together?

A velcrow Courtesy of Jokels.com:

What do sea mammals say when something happens against their kind?

Oh, the huge-manatee

Which kind of shark is also the saddest dog?

The porbeagle.

What kind of jean's do Mario prefer?

Denim Denim Denim.

What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do?

Circuit training.

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

What kind of tree would have the best bark?

Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick.

What kind of monkey can fly?

A hot air baboon!

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?

A URLologist.

What kind of robbery is not dangerous?

A safe robbery.

What kind of dog chases anything red?

A bull dog!

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?

Fi-Do!

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

An amoeboo!

What kind of government does Disney World have?

A plutocracy

What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read?

One with a cemetery plot.

What kind of bee can't be understood?

A mumble bee!

What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear?

FLAC jackets

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Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What kind of vitamin does a pirate take?

Vitamin sea.

What is the best Vitamin for friendship?

B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob.

What do you call a panda who's legs don't work?

Pandapalegic

Building Jokes More Building Jokes

What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings?

A fish tank!

Why did the console cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side

Plain Bagel Jokes More Plain Bagel Jokes

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

What would Burger King's slogan be if Jesus founded it?

Have it Yahweh.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?

From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."

What does Fozzie the Bear do when he can't find a ride?

Walk-a Walk-a

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call a flying turtle?

A shellicopter.

What's yellow and flys through walls?

A magic banana...

Mickey Mouse Jokes More Mickey Mouse Jokes

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!