What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

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Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them?

Don't worry they'll tell you

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What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

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Why are there no good jokes about engineers?

Zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline.

How do you ruin a good joke?

By posting it over and over on the same subreddit

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What kind of underwear do old people wear?

Depends.

What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?

A wet one.

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What fruit worries teenagers the most?

A promegranate.

Why did the fruit leave office?

Because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.