Fruit Jokes

What do you call a piece of fruit that can fly?

A pearrot

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What do you need to drink out of a fruit?

A STRAWberry....I'll go...

What brand of underwear did Jesus wear?

Fruit of the Womb

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months?

The fruits of her labor.

What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

What did the banana say to the orange?

Fruit can't talk

What do you call a fruit that won't get married?

A Cantaloupe.

Why a fruit doesn't walk?

Because fruit flies

What kind of fruit can't get married?

A Cantleope

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

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Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??

A Cantaloupe.

Which fruit wanted to run away and get married, but couldn't?

Cant-elope

What do you call two fruits that can't get married?

Cantaloupes

How's the fruit?

Just peachy.

What fruit worries teenagers the most?

A promegranate.

What fruit fits best in your palm?

A palm-agranate!

What fruit makes you confused?

Papayas See, you're confused right?

What fruit can't get married?

CANTELOPE

What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit?

Durian durian! im sorry

What is the tastiest liquid in a fruit?

The IV Drip

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What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

How do you make a fruit cordial?

Be nice to him.

What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

How did the fruits get married?

They Cantaeloped!

What do you call a fruit that procrastinates?

A Cramberry!

What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone?

A banana-nana-nana Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.

What type of fruit do twins prefer?

Pears.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to?

Cantelope.

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

What's tomato with you!

What do you get when you combine a recliner with a fruit?

A chairy.

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What type of underwear does a fetus wear?

Fruit of the womb.

What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home?

Cantaloupe

What do you call a fruit that stays up very late to study for tests?

A cramberry.

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why is it so important to fruits to get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

What do you call a fruit that isn't allowed to marry?

A cantelope

What the difference between Bernie Sanders and a piece of fruit?

Pieces of fruit actually get picked for something.

What is Romeo and Juliets least favorite fruit?

Cantaloupe.

What type of fruit is impossible to marry?

Cantaloupe

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

Oc Because he cantaloupe.

What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit?

Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground?

A fruit by the foot

What do you call the fruit of Islam?

Quran-berries

Which fruit can never get married?

Melons, because they can'telope.

Why did the fruit leave office?

Because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What do you call fruits that aren't allowed to marry?

OC Cantaloupes.

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Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why did Johnny Bravo go to the pet store?

To pick up some chicks.

What's the best way to pick up a woman?

Like a sixpack

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

Which Russian leader is always farting?

Putin

School Jokes More School Jokes

What does Peter Parker wish he would have went to school for?

Web design.

How can we keep the school clean Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?

Student: "By staying home"

Stra Wberry Jokes More Stra Wberry Jokes

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

There was a traffic jam.

Why was the strawberry sad?

His mom was in a jam!

Beethoven Favorite Fruit Jokes More Beethoven Favorite Fruit Jokes

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BA NA NA NA!

What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Ba-na-na-naaa!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a triangle and Manchester United?

A triangle has three points

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

Na Jokes More Na Jokes

What's Batman's favorite food?

Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Why is North America so salty?

Because its Na.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What's the difference between a fraternity and a gang?

Gangs don't have to pay for friends.

What did Jay Z say when his friend died?

No Biggie.