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Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

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What did Charlie Sheen say when he won the Tour de France?

Schwinning!

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.

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What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

What do you call a fire on the beach?

Bernie Sanders