Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

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How do you win a small fortune in Las Vegas?

By spending a large fortune.

What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity