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Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

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Why does the Pope always win at chess?

He has so many Bishops!

What's better than winning the Paralympics?

Having legs!

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Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Why does Bernie Sanders support abortions?

Because even after he's blown his load he won't pull out.