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What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

When your prescription says "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS" how many beers are you really allowed to have?

6

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of dough do Hobbit bakers use?

Frodough.

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

Who's there! Cantaloupe! Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe with you tonight!

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

Why is fruit so expensive?

I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.

What fruit worries teenagers the most?

A promegranate.