Fart Jokes

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

How's a fart and a teenager alike?

Because once you go to sleep, you can't trust either of them to not sneak out.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why the rabbits love Selena Gomez?

Im farting carrots, im farting carrots...

What is a burp?

A fart taking the elevator.

Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

It's more fun to break wind

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening?

A sphinxter.

How to spot the toughest guy in jail?

He still has some whistle left in his fart.

How are farts and Ancient Egypt similar?

They both have a Tutankhamun.

What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger?

Toot uncommon

What do you call a person who helps teach others to fart?

A tooter. (thanks, honey)

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.

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What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A PRIVATE TUTOR

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom?

He farts.

What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words?

That you to fart.

What do you call a computer that farts?

A compooter. 8D

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted?

Because it was a noble gas

What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?

Total Eclipse of a Fart

What do you call a person who farts in private?

A private tutor

Who teaches you how to fart?

A tutor

Why can't you fart in an apple car?

It doesn't have windows.

Why did the dragon go to jail for farting?

Arse-on. **Cough Cough** I'll see my way out.

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Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

What if my baby doesn't make ultra sounds?

What if it's just farting noises Is it graded on a curve

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor

Why is the dog man's best friend?

He has to have someone to blame the farts on.

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

Who farted?

Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Who ordered the farts?

Then, fart.

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

He farts.

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

What Happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew

What do you call a person who teaches you the art of farting?

A tooter

Why did the skeleton burp in the church?

He didn't have the guts to fart

How does a blacksmith know you farted?

He smelt it

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

What do farts and children have in common?

You love your own, but hate everyone else's.

Which Russian leader is always farting?

Putin

What was the question?

Son: "Who's farted"

What did the farting pharaoh say to the farting slave?

We only have a Toot in common.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What's your answer?

Whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people

What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes?

Karma chameleon

Middle Night Jokes More Middle Night Jokes

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

Russell!

Shart Jokes More Shart Jokes

What do you call a shart?

Woopsie Poopsie

Where are the best sounding farts listed?

Sharts.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why doesn't anyone in insert nations capital use the toilet in the morning?

So they have something to do at night.

Why don't men want to go down on a woman first thing in the morning?

Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese?

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?

A carrot!

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.:

Rabbit Jokes More Rabbit Jokes

What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on?

A bare hare.

What do you call an operation on a rabbit?

A hare-cut.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How can you possibly score over 100%?

I am very pleased with my score of 79.

What is six inches long has a bald head and drives every woman crazy?

100$ bill

Snack Jokes More Snack Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Where do Jihadists get their snacks?

At the Allah hu snackbar.