Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What do you get if you cross a giant hairy monster with a penguin?

I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while

What's the difference between a hold-up and a stick-up?

Age

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does one chauvinist say to the other?

There's a thousand things I'd like to do in my life, and those are just the pretty ones!

Which faction in Divergent has the largest number of lamborghinis?

Erudite because they like knowledge a lot more than materialistic things

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator?

This place rocks!

Why couldn't the fun guy go in the elevator?

There wasn't mush-room.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.

What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

Actress Jokes More Actress Jokes

Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress?

Because she always makes up.

How did the actress from Legally Blonde die?

Witherknife