What does one chauvinist say to the other?

There's a thousand things I'd like to do in my life, and those are just the pretty ones!

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What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

What do you have when life gives you melons?

Dyslexia.

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Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter?

Because he doesn't like being followed.

What do you call a duck that likes to steal?

A Robber Ducky!

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What does one chauvinist say to the other?

There's a thousand things I'd like to do in my life, and those are just the pretty ones!