Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

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Why don't matches play baseball?

One strike, and they're out.

Why can't the T-Rex play the piano?

Cause they're dead!

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What does a king do when he burps?

He issues a royal pardon.

What do you call a king with a weed addiction?

Your royal highness.