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King Jokes

Where does the king keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What happend to Tommen Baratheon?

He made it to kings landing

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle?

He was a lion.

What do you call someone who begs for a free copy of "Return Of The King"?

A free-LOTR

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

How did the king die?

He had a bad heir day

Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week?

Just Juan

Wheree did the king keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u

How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Juan

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Who is the king of the pencil case?

The Ruler

What do you get when you vaporize a king?

A noble gas.

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted?

Because it was a noble gas

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

Why is King Joffrey like a mattress?

Two twins make a King.

What does a king do when he burps?

He issues a royal pardon.

What is the proper way to address the king of the ghosts?

Your ghostliness.

What do you call a king with a weed addiction?

Your royal highness.

What do you call A man in an iron suit flying by the king of the North?

A Stark contrast

What do kings call musical chairs?

A Game of Thrones.

Who is king of all the mice?

Mouse Tse Tung!

What do you call it when a King gets a vasectomy?

A heir cut

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

What's a Londoner's favorite seafood?

King's Crustacean.

Love

Love

What was the kings name?

King Philip the Third.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Who is the king of stationary?

The ruler.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

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Freudian Slip Jokes More Freudian Slip Jokes

Where does a psychologist keep his boat?

On a Freudian Slip

What is the definition of a Freudian slip?

When you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet.

Sleevie Jokes More Sleevie Jokes

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Wheree did the king keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

How do you make God laugh?

Tell him your plans.

How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School?

Just planning ahead...

Stephen King Jokes More Stephen King Jokes

What do you call Kim Jong-Un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator?

From Stephen King - The Cell)

Whopper Jokes More Whopper Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He didn't wrap his Whopper

Burger King Jokes More Burger King Jokes

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He didn't wrap his Whopper

What would Burger Kings slogan be if Jesus founded it?

Have it Yahweh

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the sperm say to the egg?

Nice to meet you. Wanna make a baby?

Where's the baby?

While holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

How do you save a suicidal procrastinator?

Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow.