King Jokes

Where does the king keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

Why do the Lannisters have such big beds?

They push two twins together to make a king.

How do the Lanisters make large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle?

He was a lion.

What do you call someone who begs for a free copy of "Return Of The King"?

A free-LOTR

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

How did the king die?

He had a bad heir day

Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry

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What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week?

Just Juan

Wheree did the king keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u

How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Juan

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Who is the king of the pencil case?

The Ruler

What do you get when you vaporize a king?

A noble gas.

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted?

Because it was a noble gas

What does a king do when he burps?

He issues a royal pardon.

What is the proper way to address the king of the ghosts?

Your ghostliness.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call A man in an iron suit flying by the king of the North?

A Stark contrast

What do kings call musical chairs?

A Game of Thrones.

Who is king of all the mice?

Mouse Tse Tung!

What do you call it when a King gets a vasectomy?

A heir cut

What do you call it when a king rips a fart?

Air to the throne.

What's a Londoner's favorite seafood?

King's Crustacean.

Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed?

They pushed two twins together and made a king.

Who is the king of stationery?

The ruler.

Why do the Lannisters have such large beds?

They put two twins together to make a king.

Why do Lannisters have such big beds?

GoT because they push twins together to make a king.

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Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Who ate a lot and conquered Rome?

Atilla the Hungry.

What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?

I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel.

Sleevie Jokes More Sleevie Jokes

Where are the king's armies?

Up his sleevies.

What did Napoleon have up his sleevies?

His armies!

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward?

Because two Eds are better than one.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Simba Jokes More Simba Jokes

What do you say to Simba when he's slow?

Mufasa! "move faster" heu heu heu

Why did Simba buy a motorcycle?

So he could mufasa.

Oj Simpson Jokes More Oj Simpson Jokes
Army Jokes More Army Jokes

What do you call corn that joins the army?

Kernel.

Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper!

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common?

They both know "what a girl wants" and "what a girl needs".

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.