Oedipus Jokes

Who is Samuel L Jackson's favorite historical figure?

Oedipus

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What is Oedipus' favorite flavor?

Umami.

What does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress?

Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? A: a Freudian slip

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

Q Jokes More Q Jokes

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?

The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song?

Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden.

Why does Jesus Jaywalk?

Because he hates crosswalks

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

What do you kiss on a Mexican dish that will trigger the end of the world?

El Taco Lips.

Swear Jokes More Swear Jokes

How do you make 30 senior citizens swear?

Shout "Bingo!" before them

How does a mathematician swear?

Math-you.

Profanity Jokes More Profanity Jokes

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.