Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use Lubricant.

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What did the Banana say to the other Banana?

You're very appealing

Why is the banana the most popular fruit?

Because of its appeal.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How do you check the intonation of a guitar underwater?

With a tuna.

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why dont't feminists go to church?

They can't stand saying "amen"

What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

Why was the Redditor mad at Reddit?

Because it made her wait seven minutes before posting something.

Why did the redditor go to /r/zelda?

To boost his link karma!

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What did the scale say when it was going to drop a fresh mixtape?

Weight on it.

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

How does a fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales!