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Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?

You use a spirit level.

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What is Minion's favourite brand?

Banana RepublicBANA

What is the chemical composition of banana?

Barium disodium

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?

One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.

What did Alan Rickman say as he stood over David Bowie's grave?

Mind if I Slytherin

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

What did the redditor do to a post?

He rEDDITed it. I'll leave.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

How do you get an anorexic chick in bed?

Well, it ain't a piece of cake.

What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster?

HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights?

Hypertrophy!

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

Jeffrey Dahmer!

What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit?

Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

How do you weight a fish?

With a scale.