Why did the redditor stand on a piece o...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had?

He used cowculus!

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

Why don't bananas snore?

Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes?

A banana split!

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?

Check their jeans.

Why did Snoo not check out a library book?

Because he had already Reddit.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does E.T stand for?

Because he hasn't got a chair!..... sorry.

How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb?

None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What do you call a redditor in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile

How do you know if a redditor gave money to Bernie Sanders?

Just wait 5 minutes. They'll post about it.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster?

HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.

How do you make a rave party in Africa?

You stick a piece of bread on the ceiling.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How does The Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

How do witches lose weight?

They join weight witches.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What brand of underwear did Jesus wear?

Fruit of the Womb

What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried?

Fruit of the tomb

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

How much do you love kids?

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love kids?

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?