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Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

How can you open a banana?

With a monkey!

What did the cat say to the banana?

Banana... What did the cow say to the banana Banana... What did the goat say to the banana Baaah- nothing. Goats can't talk.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward?

OC A receeding Herr line.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What did the redditor say when he opened his package from the UniBomber?

Wow, I did not expect this post to blow up

What do Redditors always get confused by?

Seven.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Which actor is resting in pieces?

Alan RIPman

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

How do you make a fruit cordial?

Be nice to him.

What does a Doctor do when he needs 50 bags full of fruits?

He goes to Orlando and checks the Pulse.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?

He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

What part of a fish weighs the most?

It's scales!