Why did the redditor stand on a piece o...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What do you call your mom who used to be your dad?

A transparent ()

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What's yellow and smells of bananas?

Monkey vomit

What's the difference between a banana and a helicopter?

You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

What's a pirate's favorite move in chess?

Check, matey.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?

A wind tunnel.

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What does a Redditor do at prom?

He looks for the punchline

Where does a redditor get most of his news from?

The Hydraulic Press

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

What s the weight of a hipster?

One Insta-gramm

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What Type of Fruit Wants to Run Away and Get Married but Isn't Able to?

Cantelope.

What kind of fruit isn't allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe.

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

What's the most musical part of a fish?

Its scales.

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?