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Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do you call rude fungi?

Shiit-talking mushrooms

What do you call someone who talks to others in public restrooms?

A urinarrator.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.

Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

He was Russian.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?

Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant. "If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p

What sound does a black widow make?

My husband be dead

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight?

Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies.