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Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?

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How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?

At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Absolute Jokes More Absolute Jokes

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.