Absolute Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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Calculate Jokes More Calculate Jokes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

What do Jedis wear to Oktoberfest?

Vader-hosen!

Where do Jedi go to get inked?

Tattooine.

0k. Jokes More 0k. Jokes

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

What's cooler than being cool?

Being 0K.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What part of the house does a ghost not use?

The living room

Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

Sith Deal Jokes More Sith Deal Jokes

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Which street does the police officer live in?

Let's be Avenue

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

Why are lawyers always buried 15 feet deep?

Because deep down they're good people.