Absolute Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

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What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?

We just report the facts we don't change them.

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

Which program do Jedi use to open PDF-files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's Tommen Baratheon's favorite band?

Fall out boy

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?

When the color of the license plates start to change.

Temperature Jokes More Temperature Jokes

What is the temperature of the average coffin?

6 Below

What's the temperature inside a TaunTaun?

Lukewarm

German Jokes More German Jokes

How do you say constipated in German?

Farhfrumpoopin'.

What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

0 K Jokes More 0 K Jokes

How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero?

0K

Why did Fetty Wap chose that as his stage name?

Because he wanted to make $50K per day from ad revenue.