April Sale - 20% Off

Deal Jokes

What do you call a drug dealing church?

Crystal Methodists

Love Card

Love Card

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

What do frogs deal?

Croakaine

What's the deal with the phrase "door ajar"?

I mean, is it a door or is it a jar?

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease?

He just shakes it off.

What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

Because all day they deal with ores.

Why is there no scope for dealers/middle men in the field of extractive metallurgy?

Because he/she who smelt it, dealt it.

What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

I mean, seriously, are they seeing anyone?

What's the deal with lampshades?

If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

How do mathematicians deal with constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What's the deal with airline food?

Buy 2 get 1 free

Why do redditors make such good fencers?

They're used to dealing with ripostes.

What's Franklin D Roosavelt's favorite game show?

Deal or New Deal

Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot?

He didn't like dealing with reservations.

What's the deal?

Jerry says. The Best Buy explodes

How do you deal with ignorant people?

I really don't know.

What's the deal with airline food!?

LMAO

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

How did the mathematician deal with his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil

How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

He used sarin wrap

Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate?

It made it easier to deal with high C's

What do banks and the US government have in common?

They both deal with checks and balances.

Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue.

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

How do you deal with heavy traffic?

Heavy psychedelics.

Whats the deal with all this airline food?

Sharks in Malaysia

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch?

He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.

What's the deal with the Z Fighters?

They aren't fighting to stay awake!

How are you dealing with not writing any of the songs?

He responds, "One note at a time."

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

Where were you on the night of the 5th?

Dealing drugs." "Louder for the tape " leans in "Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."

What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld?

Did you ever notice he seems to start off all of his jokes in one of two ways

How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer?

He's staring at somebody else's shoes.

You might also enjoy:

Obsess Jokes More Obsess Jokes

What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?

An algae bra.

What do you call someone obsessed with Japanese food?

A weeafood

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What Happened when Feminist's found out about Reddit?

Well they deleted

What if reddit had a currency?

Would they be called creddits ()

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did Xmen's Cyclops go to the doctors?

Because he needed laser eye surgery!

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

Bmw Jokes More Bmw Jokes

Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW?

I don't have a new BMW in my garage.

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

What is a man's ultimate shame?

When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!

How does a orphan change a light bulb?

They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup?

Yum Yum.

Cactus Jokes More Cactus Jokes

What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

How does a cactus do his math homework?

He uses a cacti-lator!