Optimist Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!

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What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What is the definition of an optimist?

An accordion player with a pager.

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

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World Trade Center Jokes More World Trade Center Jokes

Why was the World Trade Center in a hurry?

It had a plane to catch.

Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What starts with P and ends with orn?

Popcorn.

Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes More Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes

What do you call a woman with multiple personality disorder?

Polly

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

Strength Jokes More Strength Jokes

What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be.

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?

Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.

What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

About 5000 miles.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the German clock maker say to the broken clock?

Ve haff vays of making you tock!

How do German women know when they're pregnant?

They're never late...