Optimist Jokes

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What is the definition of an optimist?

An accordion player with a pager.

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

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Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes More Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

World Trade Center Jokes More World Trade Center Jokes

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center?

Who ordered the two jumbos?!

Strength Jokes More Strength Jokes

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

What would you say are your strengths?

Me: Words Him: Can you say more Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions

Bin Jokes More Bin Jokes

Where’s the bin?

I haven’t been anywhere!

What's an environmentalist's favorite part of a computer?

The recycle bin.

Can Jokes More Can Jokes

Why are recycle bins optimistic?

Because they're full of cans.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know.

San Diego Jokes More San Diego Jokes

Where's the best place to have a waffle on the beach?

San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.