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Optimist Jokes

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What is the definition of an optimist?

An accordion player with a pager.

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

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Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

Why do Transformers always have their heads in the clouds?

They're robots in da skies.

Bin Jokes More Bin Jokes

Where's your bin?

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

Where’s the bin?

I haven’t been anywhere!

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What kind of ears do trains have?

Engineers (engine ears).

Why are trains always being falsely imprisoned?

A. Because of their loco motives

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Why did the worm want to learn kung-fu?

So he could flip the bird

Ak47 Jokes More Ak47 Jokes

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start a conversation about men's rights?

Mention feminism.

What's wrong with it?

Doesn't start

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

How many Swiss does it take to change a light bulb?

None. We pay a German to do it.

Realist Jokes More Realist Jokes

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.