What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

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What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?

We're going to build a wall

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

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Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

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What is the definition of an optimist?

An accordion player with a pager.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!