Asbestos Jokes

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be.

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What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other?

Same time next month?

What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time?

A widow

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

Cancer

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

What did the cancerous contractor say to his apprentice?

Avoid the insulation asbestos you can.

Mesothelioma Jokes More Mesothelioma Jokes

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

Who so thelioma?

Mesothelioma

Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the last thing that goes through a fly's brain before it hits my car windshield?

Its arse.

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What the heck?

Who are those people up there

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So people don't confuse them for feminists.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!