Asbestos Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!

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Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

It's asbestos could be.

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy?

There's some things I've licked that I don't want.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the Avatar want to fight the Fire Nation?

Because they gave him Aang-xiety

What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects?

Is it about black people

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why didn't they tell Chris Christie they took his pony away?

He would've found it hard to digest.

Mesothelioma Jokes More Mesothelioma Jokes

What did the doctor say to the Mesothelioma patient?

There's not much I can do, but I'll do asbestos I can!

How do people with Mesothelioma live their lives?

Asbestos they can.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What part of the house does a ghost not use?

The living room

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch?

It may contain viruses.

What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor?

His resurrection lasted more than four hours.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why do Fencers avoid posting on reddit?

They are afraid of the Reposte.

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.