How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

This joke may have profanity.
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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

Revolution Jokes More Revolution Jokes

How do Communists achieve a revolution every single year?

They planet!

What is the favorite scientific unit of the French?

RPM (Revolutions Per Minute)

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox?

It couldn't contain itself.

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

Seed Jokes More Seed Jokes

What did Leonardo DiCaprio say when he planted a seed?

Inception

What did a pirate say to fellow pirate?

Are you seeding?

Marxist Jokes More Marxist Jokes

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Why do Marxists drink herbal tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.