Contain Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

They both contain locked up loonies!

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

An Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans?

Because if they had one more, they would be 240.

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Why did Tim Tebow's mom protest against the Russian soup truck?

It contained a borscht ton.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.

How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox?

It couldn't contain itself.

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Spine

What's wrong with a joke containing Cobalt, Radon and Yttrium?

It's CoRnY

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch?

It may contain viruses.

What starts with a 'C', contains the letters U, N, and T, is hairy on the outside, and soft on the inside?

A coconut!

What two words contain the most letters?

Post office.

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Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed?

Blunt trauma.

Who is the only one that has smoked as much weed as Wiz Khalifa?

Wiz Khalifa's tapeworm.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What is a Canadian's Favorite Game?

Sorry!

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

About 8000

How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb?

Violent revolutions never change anything.

239 Jokes More 239 Jokes

Why did the Irishman only want 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would be too farty.

Why do the Irish have 239 beans in their soup?

If they had one more it would be to farty

28 Jokes More 28 Jokes

Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?

What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?

A full set of teeth

Tupperware Jokes More Tupperware Jokes

Why do walruses just love a Tupperware party?

Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal.

What does Tupperware and a sealion have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

How can you avoid falling hair?

Get out of the way.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many psychologist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb is going to need to change itself.

Which college course does a feminist take?

Trick question! You need brain cells to get into college.