How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy?

They have a semillon!

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm?

He has a flashing light.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Best viscious.

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

The alphabat.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Who's there! Coffin! Coffin who?

Coffin and spluttering!