How do you know when a vampire is sick?

He starts coffin...

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How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

What's the difference between a 19th century slave and a 21st century unpaid intern?

No, seriously, I want to know.

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What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

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How does a vampire clean his house?

With a victim cleaner.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?

Mack-u-la!

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What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.