Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

Onejina

March Madness Sale

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$14.99 $19.99

What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

Ma'lady

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

Parkin'sins

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

Plague-arism

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

March Madness Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

Tuber-culosis

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What disease does a mad scientist have?

Boffin spongiform encephalopathy

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

Because they're inbred

March Madness Sale

Love Card

$5.99

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

You might also enjoy:

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of fruit can't get married?

A Cantleope

What kind of dinosaur writes poetry?

A Bronte-saurus.

Poker Jokes More Poker Jokes

Why are dogs bad at poker?

Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament Because he's a Doberman.

What happened when the lepers played poker?

One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently.

Alzheimer Jokes More Alzheimer Jokes

How can you tell if someone has Alzheimer's?

A. How can you tell if someone has Alzheimers?

What did Rihanna say to her grandma with Alzheimer's?

Oh na na, what's my name

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you do when you lose your Kia car?

You go Soul-searching.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?

Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

Pms Jokes More Pms Jokes

Why do they call it PMS?

Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

What do mad cow disease and PMS have in common?

Angry heifers.

Mad Cow Disease Jokes More Mad Cow Disease Jokes

What's the difference between mad cow disease and PMS?

Nothing.

What do mad cow disease and PMS have in common?

Angry heifers.