Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

Onejina

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What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What does a neckbeard call a disease or ailment?

Ma'lady

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

Parkin'sins

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical?

Plague-arism

How can you tell vampirism is a disease?

On account of the coffin.

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What's the disease that slowly turns your skin black?

Rap Music

What disease do you get from kissing birds?

Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable.

What do you call a disease that only effects ducks?

A mallard-y

What does a neckbeard call his imaginary girlfriend and his disease?

Ma'lady

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?

M'laria.

What's the only disease a potato can get?

Tuber-culosis

What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease?

Let's name our sandwich shop after it

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What disease does a mad scientist have?

Boffin spongiform encephalopathy

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

Because they're inbred

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

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Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor: Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

One Jokes More One Jokes

How do you recognize a blonde in school?

They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

Pms Jokes More Pms Jokes

What's the difference between mad cow disease and PMS?

Nothing.

What should PMS be called?

Ovary-acting

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How does a crackhead lose weight?

Diet Coke.

What does an Arab say after losing his virginity?

Good goat!

Mad Cow Disease Jokes More Mad Cow Disease Jokes

What's the difference between mad cow disease and PMS?

Nothing.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?

Because they're all pigs.

Spartan Jokes More Spartan Jokes

What disease do Spartans get the most?

Leon-itis.

What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

Chirpe Jokes More Chirpe Jokes

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What do you get when you kiss a canary?

Chirpes. It can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease.