Marry Man Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

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What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini?

You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.

Bride Jokes More Bride Jokes

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

Fridge Jokes More Fridge Jokes

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?

They are for those who don't drink!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

I'm paw!

Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

The retail store!

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?

There are too many cheetahs. Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page.

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What kind of patients?

All of them

Why are doctors always calm?

They have a lot of patients. Sorry.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof?

If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors.