Marry Man Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

March Madness Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

What disease does a married man have?

Onejina

What's the worst they could say? No?

I'm a married man, I hear no at least two times a week.

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Why do married men love golf so much?

Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

You might also enjoy:

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease does a married man have?

Onejina

What country are you most likely to get a disease?

GERMany.

Surname Jokes More Surname Jokes

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Surname

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?

A forty-carrot wedding ring.

What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?

A last name.

400 Pound Jokes More 400 Pound Jokes

Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man?

She wanted a big wedding.

Where will the 400 pound gorilla sleep?

Wherever it wants to. R.I.P. Harambe

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

What kind of cuisine did the rude Jamaican serve?

Caribbean Jerk. Ayyyyy!

Luck Jokes More Luck Jokes

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

Bride Jokes More Bride Jokes

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

What is said at the conclusion of a lesbian marriage ceremony?

You may fist the bride

Courtesy Jokes More Courtesy Jokes

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

What is the bibliophile's favorite website?

Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up.