What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How the hell did you get a body like that?

He asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Why did you ticket the computer?

Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why would The Doctor and Storm get along?

Because he is the heart of the storm.

When can you operate?

Lighting a candle* Doctor: When we find you a new liver.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"