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What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad: I guess through its Beak

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What happens if you feed Link some Speed?

You get a Hyperlink...

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Why did Xmen's Cyclops go to the doctors?

Because he needed laser eye surgery!

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the psychiatrist say to the patient that showed up wearing Saran Wrap and nothing else?

I can clearly see your nuts!

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!