Luck Jokes

What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?

I'm at wick's end.

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Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

What do you call a stoner that complains about luck?

A Hearthstoner

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How Many Business Analysts Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)

Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Because he doesn't want to be spotted

What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

Good Luck Jokes More Good Luck Jokes

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?

Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

How does a mermaid give birth?

By sea-section!

Why does Ariel the Mermaid wear seashells?

She grew out of her B - shells!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a green elephant and a purple one?

One of them is purple

What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?

There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on

Leprechaun Jokes More Leprechaun Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leprechaun?

The Easter Blarney!

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck