Luck Jokes

What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?

I'm at wick's end.

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Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

What do you call a stoner that complains about luck?

A Hearthstoner

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

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Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?

She went out with the tide.

Why does the mermaid wear seashells?

She grew out of her b-shells.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a kink and a fetish?

A kink is something put in a hose, a fetish is something she wants to put in your hose.

What's the difference between a white story and a black story?

A white story starts with "Once Apon a Time" and a black story starts with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this"

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

What is the most-ignored rule in a convent?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten.

What's the Primary Directive in a nunnery (convent)?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten...

Wedding Day Jokes More Wedding Day Jokes

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?

His surname

Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do you call a WWII battle that finished it's senior year at communism school?

Leningrad

Why did the blonde get excited after finishing her puzzle in 6 months?

The box said 2-4 years!

Wrong Place Jokes More Wrong Place Jokes

Why did the cowboy have a brown moustache?

Cause he was Lookin' for loooove in alllll the wrong places.

How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors?

So they can see the battle.

Good Man Jokes More Good Man Jokes

Why is the bride always sad on her wedding day?

Because she doesn't get to marry the best man.

Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.