Luck Jokes

When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

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What did the candle say when he was down on his luck?

I'm at wick's end.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

Who's there! Charles! Charles who?

Charles your luck on the lottery!

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?

With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

What do you call a stoner that complains about luck?

A Hearthstoner

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

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Wrong Place Jokes More Wrong Place Jokes

How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

Good Luck Jokes More Good Luck Jokes

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?

Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What did the mohel bring to the BBQ potluck?

His homemade Bris-kit.

Which rapper would you rather bring back from the dead?

Tupac - Biggie Smalls - Eazy E - Meek Mills

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do mermaids wear bras?

To cover up their Ariel-as.

What do Bees wear in the winter?

Yellow Jackets*

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

What's the similarity between a burned pizza and parents?

If it's black it won't give you any food

Urine Jokes More Urine Jokes

What would be the movie called if it were about you?

You Yourself &amp Urine.

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

Mermaid Jokes More Mermaid Jokes

What does the mermaid wear to math class?

Algae-bra.

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Where do you buy a baby?

Hole Foods.

What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?

Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.