Spot Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

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How do you spot the blind man at a nudist beach?

Well..it's not hard

What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

What do you call the spot on the ground just bellow the red keep?

King's Landing

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

What do you call an accurate dog?

Spot-on.

How do you spot a egocentric vocalist?

They warm up singing, 'Mi, mi, mi.... Mi!'

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How do you spot a vegan at the gym?

Pretty much the same as anyone else.

How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

How to spot the toughest guy in jail?

He still has some whistle left in his fart.

How do you spot a vegan at a party?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

How do you spot the violent kids at the circus?

They go straight for the juggler.

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

How do you spot Will Smith in a snowstorm?

You look for the fresh prints.

Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt?

He didn't want to be spotted.

How does a blond cross the road?

A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store. The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"