When does one play a corny game?

You play it by ear.

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What did Johann Sebastian Bach do when someone steam-rolled his organ?

He played a flat baroque piece!

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

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What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees. (Not sure if this one translates well to English)

Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?

Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.