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How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

Exorcise Jokes More Exorcise Jokes

How do Catholic Church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke?

Diet coke has better advertising.

Possess Jokes More Possess Jokes

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What do you call a possessed chicken?

Poultrygeist.