How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why will Church's chicken be losing money?

Because I don't see black people going to church's anytime soon

Why did the twitter army lose all their battles?

Because they kept retweeting.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

How does a crackhead lose weight?

Diet Coke.

Exorcise Jokes More Exorcise Jokes

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Possess Jokes More Possess Jokes

What do you call a possessed chicken?

Poultrygeist.

Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit?

An exhorsist!