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Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Why was the lizard upset with her husband?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.... Okay bye now

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?

He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast?

OC I think I'll go on a diet!

Why was the gunman on a diet?

Because he was still at large.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

How does a fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales!

What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?

Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.