Lizard Jokes

Why don't snakes have legs?

Because otherwise they'd be lizards.

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What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up?

Ereptile disfunction

What do you call a lizard on drugs?

A mariguana.

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

E-reptile dysfunction

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp?

A reptile-dysfunction.

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

Why was the lizard upset with her husband?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.... Okay bye now

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

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What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

Why was the lizard nervous in bed?

He had reptile dysfuncton

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?

The Lizard of Oz!

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

Why did the lizards get a divorce?

A reptile dysfunction

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

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What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.

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Vehicle Jokes More Vehicle Jokes

What vehicle does a baker drive?

A Winnebagel

What is a bus?

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Tail Jokes More Tail Jokes

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

Ereptile Dysfunction Jokes More Ereptile Dysfunction Jokes

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors?

Ereptile dysfunction

E Reptile Dysfunction Jokes More E Reptile Dysfunction Jokes

What do you call a Snake game that doesn't work?

An E-Reptile dysfunction

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

E-reptile dysfunction

Common Question Jokes More Common Question Jokes

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

Does anyone have a charger I could use

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet?

Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e.

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?

Aloha Ackbar" doesn't go over well at the airport

What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?

They're hiring.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

What's tomato with you!

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling very well. Credit to my four year old niece.