Lizard Jokes

Why don't snakes have legs?

Because otherwise they'd be lizards.

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What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up?

Ereptile disfunction

What do you call a lizard on drugs?

A mariguana.

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

E-reptile dysfunction

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

Why was the lizard upset with her husband?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.... Okay bye now

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

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What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?

The Lizard of Oz!

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

Why did the lizards get a divorce?

A reptile dysfunction

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.

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What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?

Because he didn't feel well.

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Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?

He didn't want to be called chicken

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.

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Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

Space. The final frontier..........

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs

What's a cheese's favorite kind of drug?

Amfetamines

Ereptile Disfunction Jokes More Ereptile Disfunction Jokes

What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up?

Ereptile disfunction

Ereptile Dysfunction Jokes More Ereptile Dysfunction Jokes

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call a broken lizard?

Ereptile dysfunction

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call a flying bus?

Bus Lightyear...

Who do you call when theres a fly in your house?

The SWAT team

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the college student ask for a refund on his student loan?

Because his *degree* didn't work!

What is school like?

It's terrible, we have to do all the work, but the teachers get paid.