Lizard Jokes

Why don't snakes have legs?

Because otherwise they'd be lizards.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales!

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?

The Lizard of Oz!

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What kind of lizard goes into salad?

A Salad-Mander!

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.

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Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a Polish crow make?

Krakow

Why are notes natural leaders?

Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of a friar loves philosophy?

A deep friar.

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

How do you keep redditors in suspense?

I dunno, I'll tell ya tomorrow

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet?

There are too many Links.

Who writes hit musicals on the Internet?

Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Bedroom Jokes More Bedroom Jokes

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom?

Bedlam