Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the cake say to the knife?

You want a piece of me!

Why did little Jimmy cross the road?

Because he wanted a good view of the front of a moving Porsche. RIP lil' Jimmy

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why do skeletons have so many kids?

Because all they can do is bone.

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding That's a hardware problem!

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

How do astronauts make a party?

They planet.

Why is it hard dating an astronaut?

Because they have space issues.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What did Thomas Jefferson grow?

Old.

What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral?

He touched a lot of people.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How many calls do I get?

Cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained?

Please! I in cyst!

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

Nascar Jokes More Nascar Jokes

What do Pink Floyd fans and NASCAR driver Kyle Larson have in common?

They both love The Wall

Why should you never watch a movie with a generous Nascar driver?

He might give away spoilers!

Nascar Driver Jokes More Nascar Driver Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright.