What did Thomas Jefferson grow?

Old.

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What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife?

Let's grow MOLD together!

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How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.

Why did the pirate have to change wenches?

His old one wouldn't let him swab her poop deck.