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What's the difference between a thug and a pirate's dad?

One's poppin' caps, and the other's cap'n pops!

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What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

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What do a thug and hillbilly have in common?

They both like to throw a hoedown.

What's the difference between a thug and a pirate's dad?

One's poppin' caps, and the other's cap'n pops!